Guest Post: Living Life on Our Own Terms

Question of the week: What can women do for themselves that will help them to live life on their own terms and add passion, self-love, and joy in their everyday lives?

Living life filled with moments of pure joy, self-love, and passion under our own terms is a possibility. I have come to know inner joy requires a consistent practice of settling into life, calming the mind, and being willing to see things differently. We can do things for ourselves to transition from one day to the next, and at the same time stay in the river of life while evolving and returning to who we really are. There is a lot of talk about transforming ourselves, often implying that we need to be different than who we are. I know this well, as I spent many years cutting my hair, going to a therapist and trying to “fix” myself in order to live the extraordinary life. I am here sharing with you today that we do not need to become anyone different, we only need to remember who we are.

Today, I am on a journey of constantly returning to the place within me that holds the answers, the silent place, that always utters inspiration and guidance. There are many practices I use throughout my day, and I will share a few here with you in case you would like to join in. If you are not familiar with the nature of a daily practice, consider seeing it as a “container” for your mind, a place to go when there is no joy evident and your level of passion for living life has dipped below normal. After a while, you might find this practice automatically “fires” and becomes a natural part of your inner interior.

Settling into Life with a Design in Mind

When we begin a journey, regardless of where we start, it is helpful to know where we want to go. When I began my inner “renovation” five years ago, I knew I needed to design a plan of where I wanted to go. I had an idea of what I wanted for my life and by creating and working a plan to get there, eventually I was able to release my plan like a bird in the wind. Previously, without a plan, I tried to control everything instead of focusing on what I really wanted for my life. I gradually learned to let go of things that didn’t fit into my life design, and while this required thoughtful discernment, I found myself with far more energy and moving faster toward my goal.

I have learned that when I sit down with paper and pen to map out the way I would like my life to evolve, I must be very upfront and honest with myself. I can’t listen to the voices of others who might want different things for me. Once I have thoughtfully created my map and am comfortable with it, I am better able to maneuver through any situations that aren’t aligned with my destination. The most important part about this practice is settling into my plan and allowing it to carry me, much like a flowing river. If I am ever tossed to the side bank of the river, I know I am not following the design of my map and must remember that every experience is a lesson for my future unfoldment.

Beholding Beauty

The truth is, most of us have eyes to see what we are aware of and by aware, I mean conscious of. Our experiences “out-picture” the way we process what we see. For example, some people may drive by a house with old farm equipment scattered everywhere and see it as “ugly” or as an “eye-sore”. Others may see it as interesting and hope for a garage sale. Catch my drift here? We are in control of how we experience living life even though often we are taught the opposite.

Beholding the joy, beauty and love in every day is one thing we can do to begin to live in a state of happiness. It is simple yet so hard at the same time. Just find one thread of goodness and be ok with that. Let it be the guiding thread for you to take with your hands and weave that throughout your day. If we pick up the negative thread, guess what? We will end up with one big tapestry that we will not go with our decor.

Calming the Mind

In order to experience happiness, joy, and a creative inner interior, our mind must be calm. In my understanding, my mind is never going to be calm if I let my mind become my Master; I simply cannot allow my mind to wander around and make up story-lines. There are many ways to relax the tension within the mind and it all begins with awareness. I used to find myself going about my day just fine until a thought or memory comes in and spoils the flow. This can still tend to happen even today because I am human, and I am not perfect or a robot. The difference today is that I carry within me a sense of awareness. I notice negative thoughts that can come in “sideways” if I am not careful and present to them. By being vigilant to negativity, I can shift my perception and instantly my mind unravels the “cord” of discontent, and I can carry on doing with whatever I am doing. This practice is my single most profound way of calming my mind.

Everything begins and ends with awareness. We have the power to create goodness in our lives every single day; we must be open to allowing life to unfold in its own way trusting it is part of a greater plan. We are all here to do great things and that is worth celebrating even on the days that don’t appear to be pretty and glitter filled.

Joyfully yours,
Jocelyn

Jocelyn Hefner-Kempe prefers to spend her time contemplating the deeper parts of living life, particularly the inner interior of life. She is a righter in life, always seeking the truth and writes about her experiences on her blog, The Inner Interior. Her book, Lost and Found on the PGA and European Tours ~ Found in the Human Heart will be released in November of 2015 and is a story of how a young woman lost her identity only to return to it through a divorce and many years of hard work. Today, Jocelyn travels the world sharing her experience and insight with others who wish to be the best they can be and staying aligned with their truth. Her and her family currently live in Arizona although they travel all over the world learning and loving along the way.

Follow her on Instagram at @jocelynhefner, or reach her via email at [email protected]